From the anodyne pen of the world’s most daring bandwagoneer, whose work has been lauded as ‘Shakespeare on kombucha’ by The Echo Chamber.

Totems

by Rupert Hackney-Sloane.

 

Ah! those muddled, meddlesome classes

the ones that read the those red top rags

how they labour, how time passes,

and still they revel in royalty and flags.

If only they could learn from me,

seek the wisdom of my coterie,

abandon their base herd instinct

for us, the uniformly distinct:

yogic, vegan, anarcho-communist,

sooks, trustees, warriors for manikins’ rights;

and with power firmly in our sights,

we strive to make the candidate list,

riding the guaranteed wave of public adulation,

before our electoral capitulation.

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